Hate Mail

Dear Lecturer,

I understand that lately, you've been under a lot of pressure, and that this is probably the reason why you often snap at me or shoot sarky retorts at my questions in class. However, I'd highly recommend that you pop a bunch of pills and pull that stick out of your you-know-where before I lose it and shove my fist so far down your throat I'd be holding your liver.

Granted, my snide remarks about your inability to get a girlfriend (or is it boyfriend?) may have jilted you initially, but understand that as a student, I'm prone to mistakes. You on the other hand, you 28-year-old jackass, ought to snap out of it - especially since I've been trying extra hard to be nice to you these past weeks.

And before you go off about how "some people are being fake because I have to write your testimonial", I'd like to point out that as a mature individual (which is more than I can say for you), I have no need to kiss up. I'm pretty damn secure in my university placement, thank you very much. If it's so hard to sign a piece of paper indicating I do all your work -which I do, unlike some of your faved students- then don't. I'll get someone else to then. Because if you think I spent all this while kissing up to solely you, you are sadly mistaken.

Have a great holiday!

XOXO,
Nickolai

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Ok, I didn't actually hit 'Send' on that email and throw my fists up in the air triumphantly after; I decided that the fictional audience of this blog would enjoy my ranting more. (Don't lie..) Somehow, the urge to tell said lecturer off was overshadowed by the fear of being expelled. I'll admit it, it's cowardly. And if being assertive is beyond me, I'll just have to settle for being bitchy.